Many of us believe that long-term relationships and marriages can only keep alive the spark of a once burning flame of love and passion. This belief leads many to be content with an okay marriage and sex life or to avoid monogamy altogether, instead seeking the constant highs of fresh romance. It may surprise you to find out that this believe has been shown to be incorrect.

“Contrary to what has been widely believed, long-term romantic love (with intensity, sexual interest, and engagement, but without the obsessive element common in new relationships), appears to be a real phenomenon…positively associated with marital satisfaction, mental health, and overall well-being” (Acevedo & Aron, 2009, p. 64).

It is important to note that lasting romantic love does not have the same obsessive element as new relationships. In fact, having obsessive love actually predicted lower marital satisfaction. A big part of this is due to obsessive love often breeding jealousy, control, and manipulation.

The very fact that long-term romantic love is a realistic possibility provides a new challenge in relationships. Couples may no longer be satisfied with “good enough”, creating a loftier goal for their relationships. Sex therapy can help couples improve their sexual and romantic connection and regain romantic love that has been lost.

Revamp your relationship this Valentine’s Day and come see one of our specialized therapists. We are conveniently located in Utah county in Sandy, Provo, and Pleasant Grove.


Acevedo, B. P., & Aron, A. (2009). Does a long-term relationship kill romantic love? Review of General Psychology,13(1), 59-65. doi:10.1037/a0014226